When I started out on this road, I was given a simple piece of advice from an elder who knows me very well. Her advice: stay away from alcohol and women: alcohol because of its ability to facilitate chaos and violent behavior, and women because of their ability to knock me off balance, and my journey not being a search for love or sex.

I ignored this first piece of advice this past week in Inuvik, in the midst of the petroleum show (A time when oil tycoons from all over the world fly into Inuvik to gather, discuss and make deals regarding the future of the Mackenzie Gas Project) We had a “few” drinks with some close friends and some people from out of town. One of these people from out of town was Allison, a twenty-something Native woman from Yellowknife.

Everyone was having a great time until Forbes began discussing my project with Allison, “It’s about nature and traditional knowledge”. -- Sensing the imminent collapse of rational thought, and the start of a drunken argument, I thought of interjecting to clarify the project and our intentions, but instead, decided to let it roll. I’ve had the privilege of being in similar situations and have always learned from the experiences -- Upon hearing Forbes’ statement, Allison stood up, moved away sitting on the arm of the couch, pointed her finger and questioned, “Who are YOU to make a film about traditional knowledge?” We were all slightly intoxicated and the alcohol was definitely affecting everyone’s emotions.

Forbes tried to clarify that our project is not about documenting aboriginal people, their traditions, or about speaking with authority on anything related to any of this, but Allison wasn’t hearing anything and had already concluded we were stereotypical stupid white men.

This hurts me.

The discussion went on and Allison began speaking with our friend Donna who is Inuvialuit and Vuntut Gwichin. Donna, who we've spoken to about the project, explained to Allison that the film isn’t an academic piece studying the North, but instead is a film about all humanity, the world, and our future. Allison didn't hear any of it, explaining that we were just like every other white man who comes up and makes projects that stereotype aboriginals.

This is NOT what my film process is about.

Finally, I after listening for awhile, I jumped in, “Allison, firstly my project is not about aboriginal people - I’m interested in all of humanity, and secondly, my process is not to take anything that has not been given. I am only able to include people if they open their doors to me. People have a choice to open their doors, and I’m grateful towards everyone who has. I am blessed with great guides and collaborators. Without even speaking to me, you have judged me and closed your doors, And this is ok, this is your right. Everyone has a choice, but you don’t know me, you don’t know the road I have walked to get here, and you haven’t even taken the time to hear what my project is really about.” To this Allison replied, “And, I don’t care. You’re all the same.”

This hurts me.

I do understand Allison and her anger. I understand that it comes from a long history of stupid white men. And I understand that it comes from a history that continues to be perpetuated today by more stupid white men. What hurts is how I can simply be lumped into this category without any attempt at understanding who I am as a person. This is what so many people from so many different backgrounds experience on a daily basis, as they are judged based on the color of their skin as it relates to history. I can only hope, that together, one day we will eliminate these superficial stereotypes and move forward towards a greater understanding of how we are all interconnected.

During our stay in Inuvik, we have had the privilege of meeting extraordinary people who have taken the time to listen to us and open their doors wide, but it is equally important to experience people who don’t want to listen. People, who, upon looking at you, decide, they just don’t care. Furthermore, for us to insist they listen or care can be a dangerous thing. It is not our place to change anyone’s opinions and sometimes people have to walk their own road in their own time. This isn’t easy, as it hurts to be seen as the very thing you’re working to fight against, and it hurts to be misunderstood. Especially by people with whom you would like to have the opportunity to learn from and with whom you would like to share your experiences.

Throughout my journey across Canada and into the North I have spent many hours thinking about how to film (all subjects) in a respectful manner with integrity and without the illusion that I know anything. Forbes has been a part of this process and this is something that is very important to us.

Everything is in balance, since for every person who challenges us there are individuals who offer us their support. I have had the great fortune, while in Inuvik, of spending a small amount of time with Inuvialuit and Vuntut Gwichin filmmaker Dennis Allen. When I first met Dennis I told him I’d like to interview him because, he’s interesting, because he has a strong voice, because he’s a filmmaker, because…” to which he replied, “Because you’re here. Being here is reason enough.” I like this statement because it speaks to the fact that my project is about my journey, my perspective and a personal search. An interview can be intuitive and about place and the moment and doesn't require so much logical reasoning. I can film things because I'm here, and because it feels right. Later in the week as I wasa going through a period of doubt relating to my voice, I asked Dennis the same question that Allison has now echoed, “Who am I to be making this film and capturing this footage?” Dennis’ reply, “Who are you not to? -- People will always talk and challenge you, but don't worry about them and make your work.” I feel this is good advice: to let go of people’s perceptions and let them judge me based on my work.

Through our brief conversations and by spending time in his presence, Dennis has been a good teacher and guide. In such a short period of time, he has deeply affected my journey. I hope to have the opportunity to work and/or collaborate with Dennis down the road.

I would like to end this blog saying that I am very thankful for people like Dennis Allen, who encourage and support my filmmaking process. And I am also thankful for people like Allison, who insist on letting me know my place and reminding me not to take anything for granted.

To be on this path is a great privilege.

peace,
d