In the course of my travels through Arizona and California over the last three months, I've shot just over 40hrs of footage. This mostly consists of interviews but always shooting film content as well.

After leaving my Van and Moses at a ranch outside Tucson, I headed to Denver with Andre to hang with Liz for the second half of October. Liz had an interview to apprentice at a midwifery center in Taos, NM and that's where I'm at now supporting her.

It's strange to be back in Toas, thinking about living here down the road and imagining post production spread between New Mexico and my family farm in Canada. When I think about all the content I've gathered and my current financial situation it's hard to not consider quitting here and now. However there's still something calling me south and although I'm rich in content, poor in dollars, and tired of living in a van, I'm still moving forward.

Why...? Well it's quite simple really, I'm afraid.

"If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry." Dalai Lama

I once heard a talk by a Nobel Peace Prize recipient, I don't remember who it was, but when asked how she arrived at being who she was her response was simple, "I've always headed toward the very things that I'm afraid of."

This is my mission, to have faith in my original process and to face my fear of heading south. To open my heart to the beauty and possibilities of the world in an expansive manner, rather than shrinking away to safety zones that only serve to protect me. Protection it seems to me, is overrated. It's one thing to be unsafe and/or reckless in our pursuit of the self, but it is quite another to not face the self altogether.

In reality there's nothing to actually be afraid of.

"There was once a king who was going to put to death many people, but before doing so he offered a challenge. If anyone could come up with something which would make him happy when he was sad, and sad when he was happy, he would spare their lives.

All night the wise men meditated on the matter.

In the morning they brought the king a ring. The king said he did not see how the ring would serve to make him happy when he was sad and sad when he was happy.

The wise men pointed to the inscription. When the king read it, he was so delighted that he spared them all.

And the inscription? 'This too shall pass.' "

As my current fears will also pass, as will my lack of money, my film process, and everything else in the here and now that dominates my psyche with worry. And rather than falling down, navel gazing, and feeding into the things that I'm afraid of, I will make the CHOICE to stand up and confront myself, and express love and gratitude for the road ahead.

Coming from that place of unrelenting love and expansion, the road ahead will be beautiful and everything will fall perfectly into place, regardless of my judgments of reality. Why, because I DO believe we live in a abundant and benevolent universe!

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

"There would be no one to frighten you if you refused to be afraid."
-Mohandas K. Gandhi


"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."
-Michael Pritchard

I'm in the business of developing positives.

peace,d